College Union

By D. Merricks

D. begins a series of articles reflecting on his first year in campus ministry.

My wife and I have a small obsession. When we were in college, we both read The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. As a result, we both fell in love with Rembrandt’s painting, The Return of the Prodigal Son, which inspired Nouwen’s book. We love it so much that we actually have a 3’ x 5’ print of it in our living room and I have smaller print of it in my office.

Over the centuries, many have identified with this parable because of the intimate emotions it evokes. There seems to be a universal yearning for the embrace of a loving father. I think we all want someone to run out and meet us, ready to hug us and give us a welcome party. The words of the father are even found in hymns, “…I once was lost but now am found…” to describe our human condition and then what life is like to be in a relationship with God.

When I first read Nouwen’s book, I identified with the parable and the painting in much the same way. My relationship with God became fragile as I valued a dating relationship more than the love of the Father. When I decided to leave that relationship and return, I found God waiting with open arms, not needing an explanation or an excuse, but forgiving me all the same.

Over five years later, I am still drawn to this painting and to Nouwen’s reflections in his book. As I begin my time as campus minister at the Ole Miss Wesley Foundation, I am reflecting back on my journey to see how I got here. Though I grew up with Christian influences all around me, I believe my journey to this place starts with my ‘return home’ just over five years ago. In fact, the parable of the prodigal son portrays in a very real way the part of my journey that has brought me to Ole Miss.

As I mentioned above, a part of my college experience can be characterized in light of the younger son: “The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living” (Luke 15:12-13, TNIV). The younger son severs his relationship with his father in order to pursue another life; a life he thinks will make him truly happy. It is interesting to note that Jesus says he went to a “distant country”, perhaps to get as far from his father as possible. Nouwen describes the distant country as “the world in which everything considered holy at home is disregarded” (36).

As a college student, I, too, severed the relationship with my Father. It was not as deliberate and did not happen in a single act, but over time my actions were in complete disregard to anything holy. I entered the distant country through a series of poor decisions, each one sending me farther and farther from God: “The farther I [ran] away from the place where God dwells, the less I [was] able to hear the voice that calls me the Beloved, and the less I hear that voice, the more entangled I [became] in the manipulations and power games of the world” (Nouwen 46-47). The distant country is a common dwelling place for many college students, each one making a series of different decisions, but all leading to the same place. What is it that will guide them back home?

The younger son in the parable is drawn back home to his father because he remembers his father’s character. He knows his father treats his servants with respect and decides it is better to be one of them than staying in the pig sty. Ultimately, God’s character is what brings us back. The circumstances can be dire, the arguments can be sound, but it is the loving heart of the Father that brings his children home. As a college student, this love manifested itself in the lives of others who cared enough to confront me, pray with me, and listen to me. They never condemned me nor made me feel guilty, but loved me in my brokenness. Are we willing, as campus ministers, to allow our students to return from the distant country? Are we willing to manifest God’s character in our ministries so that there is a home in which to return? Will they return to a place filled with love?

I am a campus minister because my college experience showed me the importance of college students needing a loving refuge from the distant country. Once I was able to be hear the voice that calls me the Beloved, I began to see all those around me that remained behind. They dwelled unknowingly in the distant country, not even looking for a way out. As strange as it seems, these people initiated my call into campus ministry. My heart broke for them and I desperately wanted them to know the freedom and love that comes from returning to the Father. It is a yearning that continues to live in me to this day.

The journey does not stop there, however. Realizing and following a call takes you through dangerous territory. After returning home to the Father, my life completely changed. I wanted to be involved in helping others, loving others and growing in my faith. I wanted to do all I could so that I might be a good son. This was a very exciting time in my life! But my spiritual journey led me to a place where I sought the approval of others through the execution of my duties and responsibilities. Resentment and bitterness resulted from recognition that I did not receive, but I felt I deserved. I replaced my belovedness of the Father with a need for approval, and the lack thereof drove me to laziness and disobedience. Suddenly I was no longer the younger son, but the elder son.

The elder son in the parable demonstrates how it is possible to be lost even when you are at home. Instead of rejoicing in his brother’s return with the rest of his father’s household, he distances himself from it. He remains physically distant by remaining outside, but he also remains emotionally distant by calling his brother “this son of yours” (v.30). In the painting, he stands to the far right with a look of indifference. His posture is closed, his hands folded and he makes no effort at welcoming his lost brother. Both the parable and painting leave the fate of the elder son unfinished, but his bitterness leads us to conclude that he remains distant for some time. What is it that will bring him close? When will he join the party?

Once again, it is the character of the father that will transform the son’s heart. Jesus ends the parable with the father’s words, “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (vv. 31-32). The father’s concern is restoring every member of his family, not just the younger son. The father reminds his son that not just anyone has come home, but his only brother. And more importantly, the father reminds his son that one day he will be the head of the household. The elder son is not being called to return home, he is being called to be the father.

I became the elder son because I so desperately wanted to fulfill my calling that I missed what the calling really was. In being called to be a pastor to college students, I am being called to be like the Father. My call does not consist of doing all the necessary things to grow in my faith, but simply to love others. I am called to see students “with the eyes of God’s love and discover that God’s vision is not that of a stereotypical landowner or patriarch but rather that of an all-giving and forgiving father who does not measure out his love to his children according to how well they behave” (105). The love of God that I give to students can guide them home, restore them to fellowship with God and others, and offer forgiveness in the midst of brokenness.

As I begin the next part of my journey, I am thankful that God the Father is revealing my true call. My calling stems out of my own experience of needing a place filled with love, forgiveness and healing. My vocation is rooted in the calling to be holy as God is holy. This holiness is personal in that I am to dwell in the arms of my Beloved. But this holiness is also social because I am called to nurture a community that reflects God’s character. If this “home” can be established on the campus of Ole Miss, then students may be compelled to leave the distant country and we will be there to run out and meet them when they do.

D. Merricks is the Director of the Ole Miss Wesley Foundation. His email is d.merricks@olemisswesley.org.

Categories: Nurturing the Soul of the Campus Minister
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